To the Music?

Rhythm, Either you got it or you don't. That's just a lie that black people say to white boys in the barracks to explain why we dance "like a retarded seal" But in truth, we all have a steady, consistent pace. Just because the world doesn't hear the music you dance to, doesn't mean its not there.

I have found my Battle Rhythm. That is the Army's way of saying I got settled into what I will be doing. Mostly that means being able to wake up and fall asleep on time, get hungry at the right time, etc etc. I'm very pleased that I can adapt to the things I need to do. Everything will go according to plan, because we are all just little solos in Gods master rhythm

9600 hours

1 O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place?

2 How long shall thy hand be stayed, and thine eye, yea thy pure eye, behold from the eternal heavens the wrongs of thy people and of thy servants, and thine ear be penetrated with their cries?

       There are many times in my life that I feel I need to just do it.... ya know? like the dishes, you see them and you say "Self, just do it." I was expecting this deployment to be like that. It was to be just another nuisance in my life that displaces plans all together. (Not to say that they were good plans, they were held together with duct tape)

      It has been much harder than that, much, much harder. To start with, I didn't know the first couple of days would be this emotionally painful being away from Ashelyn and Addy. As I gather around with the men in my barracks to have another sausage filled night, I seem to be stalking Ash on Facebook, more or less just so i remember what a girl looks like.

      I do have a confession, I have let myself go since AIT about a year ago. Back then, running was annoying because it wasted my time. I could go through the motions of Physical Training with no worries.  I have been enlisted into the Darnell School of Smoke U. Sergeant Darnell likes me to do at least 20 pushups every time I see him, now that we live in the same floor, that is often.  The first day we ran over 3.5 miles to get us "acclimatized." Yesterday, we ran suicides (Google it) along with squats and bench presses. 

7 My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;

 8 And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.

      Today has been my break through. I am still missing my girls, but the pain is manageable. SGT Darnell, in his infinite wisdom, let me work out myself.  This allowed me to run at my pace a.k.a a little slower, and it allowed me to practice my strides.... along with letting my mind run.

      The lights are out. so I must retire, but I will be glad that I served my country.  I know I will succeed in what I do, but until then, it is a long painful road 

EPIC FAIL

i was writing this blog in my head as i was making sunday dinner. I was going to brag about how awesome i am at throwing things and ideas together and making them work. I would still do that, but then i would be lying to you. it started with the mistiming, i forgot that with my pans, water boild after 20 minutes, and i need to cook the pasta for less than 10.
pasta= 30 min cook time. the italian chicken i was planning to cook takes 20 minutes after the pan gets hot. chicken=25 minutes. i started the chicken when the water boiled. so what am i to do when the pasta is done and the chicken aint? *lightbulb* put marinara in pasta after, so they can warm up. mean while, chicken pan is too hot, but the recipe says dont open the lid or youll dry out the chicken....... pasta is too wet when combined with sauce,  so boild some out..... chicken is "done" but all it really is is batter burned on bottom, runny on top. pasta and marinara is "done" but the bottom of the pan is burned and the pasta overcooked. while im eating this, all i hear is the food network judges critiquing my food, and that one guy saying "sorry, but you are not a sweet genius"

it came to my attention that my last blog was incomplete..... just to prove a point, im not going

its not the hand your dealt but how you play the game

it has been brought to my attention that i suck at emotions. i suck at coping, dealing, displayung, and more importantly aknowledging said emotions. many people will labor in trying to justify why they do such a thing ( i will to in a second). there isnt much difference between my life and yours, we all have stress right? here area few of mine. Surprise! im going overseas in a few months, i dont realize how big of an adjustmet that will be ( lack of emotion remember?) i will leave eveything behind for about a year, my present family and my future one (which is under construction as we speak) i have to leave my love of my life to grow up and mature very rapidly ( not to say she isnt eons more mature than i am). i would love to stay here and play with kids and launch rockets, go shopping for antiques and such, but that isnt what i have been dealt. i knew i wouldsacrificr thingsfor my career choice, and one of them is my whiny complaining self. there has got to be one grounded person to reasure the rest that everything will be ok. i have gine through over a years worth of training to

10,000 feet in the air

this week has been a week full of airports, for those who follow foursquare, i am now working my level 3 jettsetter badge, thats 15 airports, all within the week.

i have only learned a few things while jet setting...... heres the list

1 check in 24 hours before flight time, you may get a good seat, and you can print off you ticket, one less line at the porte de air

2 if you aint first (class) you're last, so why hurry on the plane?

3 bring lots of toys, and don't use your phone to play angry birds, because then when you are at the mall of america the same day, may not have enough battery to take pictures of the lego statues.

4 hotels have free shuttles

5 you know how if you tell enough people that monday evenings at the movies are crowed, eventually no one goes to the movies on monday, and it winds up dead ? well the airport is like that from 11 am to 4pm

Saving Private Ryan

    Rant? Yes totally rant.  If you haven't seen the movie Saving Private Ryan, I highly recommend seeing it, the  first couple of scenes are groddy, but it gets better.  I will try not to spoil any of the story as much as I need to.
    In the story a group of soldiers go looking for Private Ryan. They are in France, fighting the Germans, so they need a French/German Translator. When the pick up the Corporal, he mentions that he hasn't shot his rifle since Basic, and his clothes are still pressed, even for being on the beach head.

     In the final climax where they have to fend off the Germans from crossing a particular bridge. A German soldier makes it into the room where we have a machine gun nest and two soldiers. one gets shot in the throat, and bleeds out, the other begins to fist fight with the German, meanwhile, our 'fearless' translator is making his way up to the room, knees trembling but gun in hand. The German, being an SS, pulls out his knife and manages to stab the other surviving soldier. Where is our translator? the one to kill our German? Stuck on the stairs. when the German comes walking down, he takes his hand off the gun and lets the German soldier walk by.   Later on, we watch as the same soldier kills another one of our beloved soldiers, and fatally wounds the Captain.  I count 4 U.S. Soldiers dead in this fire fight because of one German, three of them could have been saved with one pull of a trigger.
    
    The comment that was said was to the point of 'He just had too much of a heart to kill someone'
    I was a little upset by this comment, as i see it, I could have been the one soldier in the nest fighting for my life, when my Battle Buddy is sitting by?  I understand that killing is difficult, but I hope that the ones I am in a foxhole with value my life as much as I value theirs. Which lead to the question of the week

Would you Kill 1 person to save 4 loved ones?